so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
Randomize
