if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
