Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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