At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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