Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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