Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
