So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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