I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
