i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
