hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
