They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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