Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Randomize
