mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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