It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I think my vagina is haunted
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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