thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize