Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
We have started to decorate penises.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
