New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
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