we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
