dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
