and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
