she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
