Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I have post one night stand depression
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