why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Randomize
