He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
