When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize