Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
