Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
