He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
