Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
