If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
