i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
