So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
