After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
