my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
