He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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