The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
