I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize