hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
