this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
