I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
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