Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
