I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
