At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize