making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Randomize
