She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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