I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Even my vagina gasped.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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