I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
