you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
My friends, they love my intelligence
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
