I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
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