Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
