so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I want a musical about memes.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
