i think i have two assholes
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
