So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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