do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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