Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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