Christians are straight up FREAKS
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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