when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
