Don't you send me to vm
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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