Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize