Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
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