everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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