I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
