Me. At least after what I've been through.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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