Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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