I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
