please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
