your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
