she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize