help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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